My February Diary

So like a month ago. I posted my January Diary and now I'm gonna post the February one.
Let us read!!! :) :)

o             February 1^st

Why did this month have to be started by a bad day? huh….

I feel so disappointed of my math exam. I got 7 which is the standard is 7.5. I feel like I wanna kill everyone.  I felt I did it well but what is this? Suddenly this thought came across “How if I’m hitted short semester?” I really don’t want it. I would definitely feel pity to my ownself.

So yeah I will be doing better.

o             February 2^nd

To be honest, he always amazes me. Not only by his cute smile but the way he playing guitar. I salute him!

This morning I tweeted this on twitter “Stop amaze me, you play that guitar beautifully…” and Icha saw it I was so embarrassed cause she finally knows whom I like.

He played one of The Beatles songs, it’s Yesterday. I know this song and when he was playing it I just could imagine what if I sang while he was playing the guitar…oh.

Today also Mr. Abdul took a singing test, me and my group sang a traditional song from Papua Apuse. As I expected before, he gave us bad comments and we had to repeat the performance and for the second performance we sang well and got no judges anymore.

o             February 3^rd

“Physics!! I start not liking you”  words of the day.

In last semester I loved physics more than chemistry. But know physics is just more difficult that’s why I have to be more diligent to do the exercise but the fact is I’m too lazy. I need course though but I realize that my parents get to pay for 4 children for their school  meanwhile my dad’s salary can’t suffice my family’s need and I’m not really used to force my parents.

There are so many people out there who are really clever without any course they take. Yes, discipline is always number one of all.

• February, 4^th

I was chatting with a guy on skype from Houston, USA. First, he chatted me and then asked to do a video chat with him so yeah I wanted too, it was for the first time. The connection wasn’t really good but still could see his face. I wasn’t alone I was also with two friends. He said “OMG Three Bithces!!!” hahaha. I replied “Yeah exactly!” haha. It was fun actually.

• February 5^th

Today is the Sixth Anniversary of ACORN Foundation and the Living Faith International Church. I accompanied my brother to go there and celebrated that joyful event.

• February 6^th

We had a ceremony this morning. I thought I would faint cause I didn’t have breakfast but because of jokes from Mr. Rony’s speech made me a little bit better. He never fails to make us burst into laughter.

• February 7^th

People make mistake and they’re going to disappoint me as well even the people who love me the most. If I can’t forgive them for not being perfect, I would end up all alone.

• February 8^th

I’m always there for others, so I feel like it’s selfish to ask someone to be there for me. It feels like it’s forbitten for me to feel down. Living has became one of  the most hardest thing to do and I’m scared others will judge me If I say it.

• February 9^th

“Why  do regrets always come afterwards?” But the right question is “Why  don’t I think genuinely before doing every single thing?” I have to be responsible, I am mature enough.

• February 10^th

Day by day came through, so did my laziness.

Why can’t I be a little bit diligent? It’s important more than anything. Like Natalia, Ica and Sheila as well…they’re clever gurls in my class. Everyone deserves a smart brain only if we could manage it and make it to be useful.

• February 11^th

Had religion class and extraculiculer on Saturday and after that my friends and I went to Lippo.

I bought some DVDs which are not enough for me and having a late lunch at Mcd. We had a fun-time!

• February 12^th

Finally deciding to cut my hair. Because I have a hair problem, it’s hair fall. Since ever I cut my hair last June my hair eventually fall. I feel so uncomfortable because everytime I touch my hair there are always sheets of my hair left. I’m scared I will be hairless one day. Cut my hair into a bob style and it’s actually too short! I’m like gonna cry now.

• February 13^th

Such a bad day. I got so MUCH judgemental comments about my new hair. I’m not feeling confidence and absolutely regretting this one so much!

I just wish my hair would grow out so fast!

• February 14^th

Today is hearts day, valentine’s day!

The day to share our  loves to others.

I bet couple had waited this moment so long, it must be a special day for them. But yet I’m still single and forever alone.

It may be called “An awarness single day” haha such a misery. But also thank to God because He always fulfills my day with much love from family and friends. I’m so grateful for that.

• February 15^th  

I’m technically single but my heart is taken by someone I can’t call my own.

• February 17^th

I think that every person I meet and fall in love with. Just a little bit. And a piece of them always stay  true with me. So overtime I collect people, and maybe I don’t remember every single one, but that means they have affected me. For a better or worse, they changed me.

• February 18^th

I just want to write this quote out “Before entering relationship, it’s always best to be friends first no matter what your heart or your hormones want you to do. You need to know exactly  who you are sharing your world with. Most of time they don’t deserve it. This new guy you met, or any other guy you meet in the future, needs to be your friends first. They need to know who you are and what you’re about. And you definitely need to know and what makes them who they are and if they deserve even two seconds of you precious life. “

• February 19^th

From Letters To God movie, I learned a lot of life’s struggles. I couldn’t help my tear drop pulling down. Such a wonderful story, it’s real. Tyler’s faith and his letters had convinced me to more believe in God. I don’t know how to be in his situation, he is 10 and he had to fight his brain cancer. I am amazed that he could accomplish such hard things. For like his friends always made fun of his head cause it’s bald from chemo damaged and also his eyes brows.

• February 20^th

I was so happy . Do you know why?

Yep, firstly when we had a ceremony flag I stood right beside him. I wasn’t nervous though but I was happy to see his face, hehe. And again I caught him was staring at me a few times eventhough I also warn myself  “Don’t be overthinking, maybe he just stares and don’t mean anything. I don’t want to fly so high when I actually know I will also fall down . It might hurt me as well.

• February 21^st

I failed at Biology . “A girl fails at biology….” Got bad score again, I bet my parents would be so angry and disappointed of me if they see my grades these days. I mean it’s hard to memorize all the latin names of various plants. My memory is already full of formula and stuff. Haha.

• February 22^nd

It’s ash Wednesday. Just went back from church and got ash on my forehead. It means fasting and lent are began. But anyway I’m still wondering what I’m giving up on for lent. I’m about to give up on twitter, not tweeting in 40 days but I don’t know whether I could or not. So atleast I’ll reduce my pocket and save money for indeed people.

• February 23^rd

In music class. Mr Abdul didn’t come to class. He gave us a task, to draw something like chords. It was hard to be done, meanwhile he did it easily. He was the first person that finished it. Cool!

He loves to help people eventhough the things which won’t be done by other boys. And you know he is really kind hearted, such a good boy. I adore him even more.

• February 24^th

How come she broke her promise! She asked me to see The Vow today  and she cancelled it. It’s just disappointing me so bad. I really want to see it, been waiting so long and my chance just for this week. I asked to some my friends and they all couldn’t go.

• February 25^th

Ouchhhh… my knees feel like so dying and I can’t move them. Had a quick walk in PE class this morning. It’s because I never do it so it becomes like this.

• February 26^th

So today I went to school just had a religion class. Mr Joseph gave us the material for mid term test and for those who don’t come they won’t be given and any of us are not allowed to give them. I don’t know what to say to Cheli because she didn’t come.

Mr. Joseph said I will feel guilty if I do that. In a way cheli is my friend if I don’t tell her, she would probably angry and you now she is moody I’m scared. And otherwise of Mr. Joseph said, this is confusing.

• February 27^th

Today is going to be a new start for me. Help me to not get distracted. I have to study hard from now on. God, please be with me through it all. I really need to get outstanding percentage (90 or above) for my boards. I really wanna make my parents proud and everyone around me. I need this, God! I really really need this. Please guide me and help me work hard. God, thank you for everything! Thank you for always being there no matter what. I love you, God. I trust You. I believe in You. And I have true faith in You.

• February 28^th

I will always put a faith in God, remember he always be in my side. Protect me, guide me. Because God is good. Thanks for giving me people who always encourage me. I’m so blessed!!!

• February 29^th

Time really flies. It feels like it was yesterday, but it wasn’t it’s been a month went. The end of February. Until then March is coming, I just wish much better than the previous months and have a great months ahead also I wish for good scores for mid term tests. WISH ME LUCK!!!